I need to be more like my children???......

This was a phrase that my husband shared with me Saturday morning. Needless to say, I was very surprised! Let me try to explain this. Beware: This is going to be brutually honest!!! As you know from my previous posts, Douglas has been having serious problems with his seasonal asthma. It began last Tuesday. I took him to the dr. She prescribed all the asthma usuals: inhalers, asthma med, antibotic, & steroid. We went to the pharmacy to get scripts filled & BAM! He has not had insurance coverage since 11/30/08! (His father is required by the divorce to carry health insurance.) I WAS SSSOOO UPSET!!!!!! After talking with his Dad, long story short no real explanation but no coverage! I can't begin to go over all of the ways that HD has taken care of Kirsten & Douglas over the past 4 months of not having coverage but also how HD's hand has been at work just since Douglas got sick!!!! But now to get back to explaining the title of this post. Momma (me) has been more than frazzled! I've felt the stress of a sick child-who has experienced the fear of not being able to breathe. The stress of a little boy wanting to practice ball & not being able to even be outside. The stress of what to do legally to fix the insurance thing. The stress of missed work (no work---no money)! Then the real problem--ANGER!!! I have been very angry over all of this!!!! To see what Douglas has gone through. To be put in a situation to make an adult be responsible & mature. ITS MADE ME ANGRY! I've prayed about it A LOT! I asked friends to pray about it also. I appreciate that my friends even the Jonathon ones have said its just the Momma coming out in me because someone was messing with my babies & my anger is justified! OK, but I'm a Christian & I know what the bible says about anger. Anger turns to bitterness & bitterness will consume you from the inside out! If I let this anger continue it will become an open doorway & take control!!! I DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN! I was talking to my wonderful, supportive, loving husband (Gary) about this Saturday & he told me that I have to be like my children with all of this. Yes, I was very confused! WHAT? He explained that the children get up every day & never give a thought to what they will eat (you always have food for them), they never worry about what they are going to wear (you buy them clothes & make sure that they are cleaned), they never worry about anything because even if they are sick & don't have insurance they know that you are going to do whatever to take care of them. You have to put your faith into action & know that HD is taking care of you & you don't need to give it a second thought! Just be thankful that he(HD) is!!! Give your anger over to HD every time it comes to your mind! WOW - Gary is a man of few words but those few words --- WOW! The anger part has been enlightening! I have had to pray every time I give Douglas his meds, make him calm down (meds make him even more hyper), and hear him cough-----HD take away my anger replace it with love, help me to forgive & forget! I'm still praying its not gone yet. But if it were taken away immediately would I be learning anything!?!?!? Like everything about my relationship with HD, its a daily walk/journey not just a destination. I've taken several steps backward over the last week. The positive is that I'm moving forward again!!! Pastor Jason spoke to me Sunday & again tonight. I love the fact that his words are hitting me where I live. They apply to the situations that I'm facing. I am an overcomer! So......to sum this up for you-----had some bad days, HD taking care of me even though I wasn't paying attention & appreciative, working on letting go of anger & replacing it with forgiveness. Honestly can't say that I've accomplished this goal completely but definitely working hard on it! I'm very appreciative of HD, Gary, Pastor Jason & my Jonathon friends who are speaking to me & keeping me accountable! Also, if your faith is not being stretched....is it really faith????? HAHA-& you thought I wouldn't leave you with something to ponder!!! Love to y'all! Joannie